The Alchemist Alipili writes:
“The highest wisdom consists in this, for man to know himself, because in him God has placed his eternal Word… therefore let the high inquirers and searchers into the deep mysteries of nature learn first to know what they have in themselves, and by the divine power within them let them first heal themselves and transmute their own souls… if that which thou seekest thou findest not within thee, thou wilt never find it without thee.”
Perhaps it’s time to put my thoughts into words and share the most important lesson I’ve learned since I began my spiritual journey a few years ago. When I first started on the path of Divine Love, I remember reading a lot about surrendering your knowledge (or in Rumi’s words, “selling cleverness for bewilderment”). Back then, the idea of accepting that the beliefs and philosophies I carried were just the glorified guesswork of one man, and not the eternal truth, had terrified me. If my beliefs could be so easily broken down, then how on earth would I navigate life without the comfort of having clear and concise answers to all my existential questions? But after years of studying spirituality and not making any progress in my inner life, I decided to sell my cleverness in exchange for bewilderment, as Rumi had suggested to me at the beginning of my journey. My only regret now is that I wish I had listened to the mad Dervish sooner!
Surrendering to Nature: The Holy Grail
Whenever I obsessively read books and articles to find a satisfying answer to a pressing existential question, I found myself developing a light headache, as if I was being screamed at by a thousand tiny angels to stop overthinking things. I’d switch off my laptop and go to bed, ruminating on my failure to find an answer despite my long afternoons spent reading and consuming data. And then, not long after, the strangest thing would happen - the answer would come to me, organically rising from my soul, as I would do my daily chores, or washed my hair, or watched the local children playing in the garden. Whenever I was still, soaking up the atmosphere and just participating in the thrill and joy of life, the pressing questions would find their satisfying answer, as if the thousand tiny angels were rewarding me for simply giving my soul the peace and quiet it needed to pass on its messages, the messages I desperately needed. I finally understood what Rumi was trying to tell me all along - when the mind quietens, the soul suddenly erupts in song, like birds in spring. The music coming from your soul is subtle but extremely profound, communicating with you on a level of deep compassion and wisdom that your racing, egoic mind can never compete with. Filling your head with dogmas and philosophies drowns out the honey-sweet music of the soul, eventually becoming impossible to hear over the din of your mind.
“I walk with my dream unfurled and lose myself in my own labyrinths, and the dream unfurled carries me.”
Anaïs Nin
I confess - I am a know-it-all and place a lot of my confidence in knowing things and always being a truth seeker. Whilst this isn’t a bad thing, being a living Hermione Granger archetype can have its flaws, the main one being completely oblivious to the truth: that we humans can never know fully why we’re here or where we’re going. Sure, we can gain enlightenment and precious wisdom from the books we read and the philosophies we encounter, but we must approach them with the acceptance that they are mere musings from a truth seeker like yourself, attempting to grasp the reality and nature of human existence with the tools at their disposal. To obsessively latch on to one particular philosophy or religion, or uphold one particular thinker as having the answers to everything, is a dangerous deception.
Life as a Labyrinth
I’ve learned that it’s important to enjoy the ride while we’re on it, to enjoy the quest as it unfolds in front of us instead of obsessing over the outcome and the shiny treasures that come with completing the quest. Recently, I visited Hampton Court Palace on the outskirts of London. The centrepiece of this historic palace was the gorgeous medieval maze. I went with a friend, and we had so much fun running around the maze, twisting and turning with the rose bushes as we attempted to find the centre. I found so much joy in the attempt; I loved exploring the corners of the maze and laughing with the strangers I met inside it as we all tried to find our way out, going this way and that. To embrace life with the same enthusiasm as accepting a challenge to make your way around a medieval labyrinth truly is the secret to living a more joyful existence.
The amount of anxiety I’ve released just by surrendering to the notion that I cannot know everything for certain has been blissfully life-changing. To surrender to the mystery of life is to make yourself primordial again - like an ancient goddess awakening from her long slumber, shaking off the rust from her eyes. It is to be reborn, to become a child again, basking in the joy of living and participating in the playground of life. Religion becomes the monkey bars you swing on, philosophy the trampoline you jump on, and contemplation becomes the cooling water you drink after a long hard day of play and exploration. You become like water, reflecting the universe and it’s mysteries, becoming a woman with a wild heart and an even wilder mystical appetite. Letting go of dogmas and concrete beliefs and accepting your own limitations is, in my own experience, the most liberating and empowering choice you could ever make. And perhaps, the most important choice to make.
Hi there—thank you for this post.
One related notion that I have is what I call the regress to intuition. Ultimately, the only true authority is our own intuition, because we are always responsible for deciding whom or what we trust. For example, a Catholic might say that he trusts the institution, but he must first of all trust his intuition to discern that the institution is trustworthy; and if he chooses to let others decide for him, then that is also a decision made by his own intuition—and so on. There is no escaping this riddle. We can only tell the truth or lie about it.
Also, I just started a blog here, and you might enjoy my short opening post. Please feel free to check it out, if you wish.
Fantastic read. Very, very relevant. With the pain of the world, I struggle with finding my stillness and letting go of my constant need for stone-cold intellectualism so much, but have recently begun exploring spirituality more seriously. It's really so valuable—people's dismissal of it is truly a travesty.